I Am More Than Trans


by Paul L. Grace-Neal

Oxon Hill, MD–At times, the LGB community treats the Trans* community like the straight, conservative, fundamental religious community treats the whole LGBT community.  Lately the mistreatment of the Trans* community been more prominent.  Sometimes it feels more like the LGB——-T community.

Since marriage equality and the Affordable Healthcare Act that affords the LGBT community the right to legally marry and access adequate services to medically transition, society as a whole has parted ways with my community. In certain circles within the LGBT community, I don’t even feel welcome to use the preferred restroom.

Another aspect of being a part of an unwelcoming community is the taboo questions that others within and outside the community asks.

If you’re Male to Female and sleep with a woman are you a lesbian?

If you are Female to Male and sleep with a man are you gay?

You’re not a man! You have breasts?

Are you having surgery? What kind?
TRANS* WOMAN, Do you have a penis?

TRANS* MAN, Do you still have a vagina?

What is it like to have sex ‘with a transgender’?

I’ve never been with one before.   Can I try?

Are you serious?!?!?  Now that’s personal!!!

Furthermore,  Being Trans* relates to gender identity. Trans* men’s and women’s sexuality varies from one individual to another.  We are asexual, bisexual, pansexual, homosexual and some are even straight (heterosexual).  You never know until you ask.  Every one’s gender and sexual identities are unique to them.

On and on… People look at the Trans* community as a commodity, conquest, or something to examine like a science project or museum exhibit– but I don’t think they appreciate us.  Even within the LGBT community we are viewed by some as FREAKS and I am sick of it!

I am more that Trans*.  There is so so so much more to me than my gender identity just as there is more to those who are cis-gender than their expression.

I am not a sexual object to pursue.  Don’t date me out of curiosity. I don’t do first-timers or curious individuals.  This Trans* man will never be your first Trans* love because I am more than Trans *.  If you can’t embrace all of me then don’t embrace me at all.

I am more than Trans*. I am a minister, nurse, friend, confidant, and mentor.  I love basketball, soccer, and my favorite sport is baseball.  I love the Washington Nationals.  My favorite color is lavender.   I write poetry, sing, and love bowling.  These things complete me.  Being Trans* is just the icing on the cake and the one thing outside of my Spirituality that unites them all.

I am hopeful that as I educate the greater community on the pain and isolation felt within the Trans* community, the LGB community will be more compassionate towards us and we will truly be LGB&T.

This is no laughing matter.  Trans* boys and girls have committed suicide over being bullied and belittled.  Life is precious and should be regarded as such.

Take me as I am or don’t take me at all.  See all there is to see about me, inside and out.  Share your love, company, and all there is to see about you.  Let us connect.  After all you are more than meets the eye too.



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